When Are We Accountable in the Nuanced Debate of Gay-Baiting

The owner may be shrouded in controversy, but Twitter (X) remains an archive of Black cultural expression, norms, and values. For many, especially Black millennials, Twitter is a place to laugh. To learn. To debate. Our cultural conversations rarely reach mainstream media, so we turn to Twitter for discourse. For example, recently, Black Twitter was in an uproar over a tweet that read, “Sending me $30 for lunch is not enough, babe.”  Heteronormativity and capitalism strike again. Straight people problems. 

While that comment sparked controversy in the straight community, Black gay Twitter found itself down another rabbit hole- gay-baiting. Popular Twitch Streamer, Plaqueboymax, went viral on Black Gay Twitter,  but it was not his unforgettable gaming or alluring personality that sparked engagement. Instead, Plaqueboymax, who identifies as straight, went viral for slapping his butt on his Twitch Stream. Somehow, the old clip went viral.

I was disappointed at the reactions as many Black gay men seemed to accept, if not promote, harmful and unwelcomed sexually explicit comments. It was harassment, but somehow, social media argued he was at fault because he was gay-baiting. 

What is gay-baiting?

For many, “gay-baiting” is nebulous and hard to define- an amorphous concept that is constantly evolving with culture. Some definitions do exist. Oxford English Dictionary has a definition. So does Grindr. Rolling Stone wrote about it 5 years ago.  There is even a study that talks about the emotional toll of gay-baiting. All considered, typically, gay-baiting refers to any strategy or tactic that intentionally engages or attracts a queer audience without ever committing to or showing queer expression/excellence. Sound incredibly broad? Because it is.  

Outside of the Black community, Harry Styles and Bad Bunny receive backlash and frequently face the label of “queer baiting” for how they dress and interact. Gay-baiting is commonly tied to capitalism of some sort, using attraction as the currency to promote or sell something. For instance, two extremely popular OnlyFans models, James Angel, and AirThugger, often engage in scenes or intercourse with other men, but they do not identify as queer.  While they may receive backlash, their follower count and wallets do not seem to notice. 

“Accountability is not oppression, and respect is a two-way street. We cannot create an environment where comfort and boundaries are dismissed when it becomes inconvenient, especially when we are clearly in the wrong.”

Recently, NLE Choppa faced issues after a provocative Playgirl shoot. The shoot features NLE Choppa in a variety of outfits, mostly unclothed. In an interview with Vibe Magazine, he said: “ Do not say that I’m a gay baiter because I’m comfortable enough to show off perfection.”  NLE Choppa consented to engage in a photoshoot, where he likely knew that the audience would be gay men, and he headlined an ATL Pride event last year. James Angel and AirThugger knowingly distribute homoerotic adult content. 

But it is important to acknowledge that this is vastly different than the experience of Plaqueboymax, who has 1.3 million followers on Twitch and YouTube. Plaqueboymax was on his own Twitch livestream and decided to smack his butt, in a nonsexual way. He, himself, did not put the clip on Twitter, nor was he selling anything.

This didn’t stop a flurry of tweets like, “he slapped his ass and got mad when gay men reposted it,” and “man, no one told you to smack your fat ass on camera.” The comments got so bad that Plaqueboymax released a video addressing the harassment. With over 6.6 million views, it had a vast reach,  but my question is, are Black gay men listening?

In Defense of Plaqueboymax, Oddly

I rarely run to the defense of heteronormativity, but in this instance, I have to hold the queer community accountable. There are certainly examples of queer baiting, especially in Hollywood. But in this example, Plaqueboy did not intentionally exploit or “bait” Black gay men. Black gay men seemed attracted to him and wanted to express that regardless of Plaqueboymax’s desires. I find this worrisome and problematic.

1. Straight Black men have the right to silly and carefree expression. 

   Black men—particularly straight Black men—are often policed in their self-expression, their movements scrutinized for any hint of femininity or queerness. The message is clear: masculinity is rigid, and any deviation renders one queer. If we want a world where Black men, regardless of sexuality, feel free to express themselves without fear, we must resist the impulse to define sexuality based on one act. Visible figures like Plaqueboymax, who embrace playfulness and silliness, challenge these rigid norms.  At best, I can agree that the act could be perceived as homoerotic, but it is important to remember, Plaqueboymax slapped his own butt-no other man was involved. Slapping his own butt does not make him gay, just as a gay man flexing for women does not make him straight. Carefree expression is not the same as orientation. 

   Most importantly, if we are to build meaningful queer-straight alliances, we as queer people must also respect those boundaries. Just as we reject the policing of our own identities, we should not impose them on others. 

2. Queer Baiting is not an invitation for sexual harassment 

   As echoed in the tweets above, Plaqueboymax was caught off guard by the onslaught of tweets and released a video addressing the issue. In his video, he explicitly stated that he was uncomfortable with the comments and advances made by gay men. “ I know y'all see the comments of ni**as talking about they want to impregnate me... all type of nut sh*t... I'm not gon' lie bro this sh*t really made me uncomfortable... like overly uncomfortable,” said the streamer. No one seemed to care. 

   To clarify, straight Black men certainly have privilege, but that does not mean they can’t experience harassment or be uncomfortable. 

   He continued, “If I was a woman, this sh*t wouldn't be okay and ni**as would say something about it."

   Shockingly, I agree. 

“If we want a world where Black men, regardless of sexuality, feel free to express themselves without fear, we must resist the impulse to define sexuality based on one act.”

I understand and acknowledge the vast differences in privilege/power that exist between men and women, but in my opinion, Plaqueboymax was harassed as he did receive unwanted sexual advances after stating he was not interested. Being a gay man does not grant us the autonomy—or the invitation—to harass straight men. The same standards we demand for ourselves must apply in all directions. If we reject unwanted advances or harmful comments from straight people, if we call out sexual harassment when it happens to us (or women), then we must also recognize when we are the ones crossing boundaries. Even if Plaqueboymax intentionally streamed in his underwear, does that give us the right to invade his space, make inappropriate comments, and treat his body as public property? No. Especially if he vocalized his disdain and discomfort along the way. 

Clearly, we know homophobia exists and is rampant. But when straight men reject unwanted advances from gay men, too often, the response is to label them as fragile, insecure, or even homophobic. But under this logic, can gay men ever be wrong? Do we ever have to take accountability for making someone uncomfortable? A straight man has the right to set boundaries, to reject advances, and to assert his comfort—just as we do (to be clear here-The language they use and how they do so can be homophobic, and that is frequently the issue.)

Accountability is not oppression, and respect is a two-way street.  We cannot create an environment where comfort and boundaries are dismissed when it becomes inconvenient, especially when we are clearly in the wrong.